On a scale of 0 - 10, I'd say today is...

It seems I live my life by the numbers.  400 mgs of this.  2.5 mg times 8 of this.  2000 mg of that.  6000 IU of this.  20% of that.  All in pursuit of the elusive ZERO.

At any give moment, I am in pain.  Most days it lurks just under the surface of my consciousness effecting my mood and energy level but not at the forefront of my attention.  On days like this Mama Mia often asks me if I'm in pain.  I stop and think a minute and answer in the affirmative.  She just nods and says, "You were moaning."  I guess I moan and groan under my breath and don't even realize it.  I'd call this a 3 or a 4.  Other times, the pain greedily absorbs all of my attention and drives me to my bed where sleep is the only respite.  I'd call this an 6 or 7.  Only one time, thankfully, has the pain reduced me to tears.  I called that an 8.  Pain, you see, is measured on a scale of 0 - 10.

So far the only pain meds I've used are the anti-inflammatory that is a daily friend and extra-strength Tylenol.  I am one of the lucky ones who haven't had to use narcotics.  I'm hopeful I will be able to avoid the use of these drugs as I have been blessed  *snort* with a high pain tolerance.

Recently, my doctor has put me on a leave of absence from work to try and get a handle on my lupus.  I am able to function at work, but it takes everything out of me.  I rest diligently over the weekends and begin to feel much better, but by Tuesday afternoon, I am toast.  Two steps forward and three steps back.  With the new meds I am on, we are making progress, but I need some space to rest and give my body a fighting chance.  I also need to get off the steroids that can have nasty side effects.  Taking so much time off was a VERY hard decision for me because I feel like I'm letting my students and staff down, and I have never been a quitter.  But finally, Mama Mia and my doctor talked me into it.  I will be off at least until the end of May but perhaps even until next school year.  And you know what?

IT'S WORKING!

I snagged the elusive ZERO for the first time in nearly 2 1/2 years.

For two days last week, I had ZERO pain.  Zip!  Zilch!  Nada!

For the second time, the pain has made me cry.  This time tears of thankfulness and hope.

That, on a scale of 1-10...is a TEN!