*cough* *cough* Pardon me while I sweep a bit of this dust away...

Things tend to get a bit dusty when left unattended for nearly nine months.  *sneeze* *cough*

Life has been a bit...busy?  Yes and no.

Life has been a bit taxing?  Yes and no.

Life has been a bit...

Well, let's just say it has been full of challenges and pain and frustration and learning and fatigue.  OVERWHELMING FATIGUE.

Nearly three years ago, when I began noticing swelling in my feet and lower legs, then my hands, then my face, I never could have predicted that I would find myself living with a chronic illness.  But that is where I am today.  I am LIVING with a chronic illness.  An illness that will never go away.  An illness that has no cure.  An illness that COULD, but in all probability WON'T, kill me.  An illness that can be kicked into remission.  But one that will return and flare as it wills.  An illness that will never again allow me to have "fun in the sun".  An illness that, at times, robs me of memory and words and the ability to think clearly and quickly.  An illness that, while a result of Original Sin, is not a result of any particular sin on my part.  An illness that is not because I NEED to learn something.  But an illness that WILL teach me a great many things.

So, while life has been busy...new job, monthly 200+ mile trips to UCLA, remembering when and how and where to take all the new meds and supplements I'm on...life has also been slower.  I am no longer able to accomplish what I used to.

And, while life has been taxing...see above...it has also been less active.  There have been months where I have been unable to do much more than work.  Literally coming home from work, eating dinner and falling into bed only to sleep till the last possible moment before getting ready for work in the morning.  Weekends spent in bed, sleeping 18-20 hours a day while my immune system worked overtime killing the very cells it was created to protect.

My mom has been my rock through all of this.  She has gone to every single doctor's appointment with me...Every.  Single.  One.  She has washed countless loads of laundry when my arms were too sore and weak to lift the clothes from the washer and hang them to dry.  She has prepared my breakfast, lunch and dinner nearly every weekday for two years.  She has changed my sheets when I was sick TIMES THREE with a cold, the stomach flu and this disease.  She even ventured out to the store at 6 o'clock on a cold, winter morning to buy grape popsicles to rehydrate my pathetic self when the multi-tasking I had done all night on the toilet *ahem* drained me of all moisture.

This weekend I feel the best I have felt in a long, long time.  Perhaps the doctor has found the right combination of medications.  Perhaps my immune system has decided to say "Uncle" and take a breather.  I don't know.  

But I do know that in the last three days this is the list of all I accomplished.  It may not impress you, but it near brings me to tears.

• Saturday
• Took the dogs to the dog park and walked about a mile
• Cooked breakfast
• Showered
• Walked around the Home & Garden show for an hour
• Blew bubbles for my dog to chase
• Ran AN errand
• Sunday
• Took the dogs to the dog park and walked about a mile AGAIN
• Went out for breakfast
• Blew bubbles for my dog to chase
• Monday
• Showered
• Ran FOUR errands
• Wash TWO loads of laundry AND hung it to dry

This may not seem like much, but the fact that I did not nap at all, barely limped when doing all this walking and don't have crushing fatigue, intense joint and muscle pain and crippling brain fog is MONUMENTAL!

I am living with LUPUS, and I fight like a girl...a girl on steroids!